It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them.

On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

Douglas Adams

this quote was literally in my sociology book 

(via reptileoverlord)

(Source: marinashutup)


Love Food? This blog is for you.
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Love Food? This blog is for you.

speculationspectrum:

That is the face of a man who told everyone

humorqueen:

itsraininbritishmen:

wwhatevver-ampora:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

YOGURT SLINGER.
DNA RIFLE.
I’M LAUGHING WAY TO LOUD TO BE HEALTHY.

  • 100% all-beef thermometer

this is the best thing i have ever seen in my life

foxyshy:

so let me get this straight. anti-choicers took $500,000 dollars worth of pennies and sealed them in a glass case as a “memorial” to “victims” of abortion. i’m going to say that again. these people have locked away $500,000 dollars as a “tribute” to dead blobs of cells instead of donating that money to actual living breathing children who don’t have basic necessities or homes.

anti-choicers are incredible

chivalrousgambler:


this looks like a cover of a murder mystery book


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chivalrousgambler:

this looks like a cover of a murder mystery book

image

(Source: catasters)

theindependentvigilante:

darkwater-smidge:

So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”

and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.

Write a book

physicallyattractive-dog:

awardweiner:

i type with no punctuation because i want to write sentences so long that people will run out of breath reading it and suffocate

by Fall Out Boy

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

jbildungsroman:

Ugh, worst song ever. 

if we’re being honest, this was the moment that Emma Stone arrived.

(Source: laurentmelanies)

how I tell stories

  • me: and then she was like
  • me: and im like
  • me: but then shes like
  • me: then theyre like
  • me: so i was like
  • me: yeah like
  • me: i know like
  • me: ye

ecstasysmom:

Profile Photos

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Tagged Photos

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Breast pumps are for working mothers, babies in the NICU, for nights with the babysitter. They are for mothers who are separated from their children or are struggling to breastfeed a child who cannot latch. They are for donating milk to children who need it. They are for many reasons and not one of them has to do with protecting society from the sight of a nursing woman.

Katharine McKinney: If You Don’t Support Breastfeeding in Public, You Don’t Support Breastfeeding (via whenrobotsreproduce)
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(Source: mickey-magical)

omfgerbear:

thechairthatkarkatwassittingon:

simstuck:

So Sim Andrew Hussie just drew this. 
FORESHADOWING?????

If he’s andrew hussie, why is he white? (as opposed to orange)

Oh my god, Karen. You can’t just ask people why they’re white.
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omfgerbear:

thechairthatkarkatwassittingon:

simstuck:

So Sim Andrew Hussie just drew this. 

FORESHADOWING?????

If he’s andrew hussie, why is he white? (as opposed to orange)

Oh my god, Karen. You can’t just ask people why they’re white.